I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize