Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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