i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
well you can't waste a boner
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
