just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
