Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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