oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have feelings that need drinking.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
