I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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