He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
