i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
