brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
