dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Church boner. Awkwardddd
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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