you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
