She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize