my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
