At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
