pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude i'm inner monologue high
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize