every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
