I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
