This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
