Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
