Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
