just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
