Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she pinky promised me she was 18
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
