there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I cockslap morals
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
