Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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