Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
