I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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