Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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