WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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