Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
