Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
