...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My bed smells like the plague
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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