she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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