so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
