But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
