so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
