Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I want her autograph on my taint
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.