At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!