Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend

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  (515): If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend http://tfl.nu/8ovo
  Replies (37) Good night (742) Bad night (3175)
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  (619): View more from California

  i wish my penis had a tongue

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  (619): i wish my penis had a tongue http://tfl.nu/t048
  Replies (30) Good night (4211) Bad night (849)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.

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  (774): According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/1yfv
  Replies (16) Good night (2936) Bad night (2795)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.

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  (250): Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for. http://tfl.nu/ra5n
  Replies (10) Good night (4066) Bad night (761)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor

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  (765): The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor http://tfl.nu/xtoh
  Replies (7) Good night (2653) Bad night (862)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.

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  (313): In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact. http://tfl.nu/ir67
  Replies (12) Good night (2172) Bad night (996)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show

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  (512): I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show http://tfl.nu/tn7s
  Replies (6) Good night (2311) Bad night (1015)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.

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  (508): All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears. http://tfl.nu/qmop
  Replies (15) Good night (702) Bad night (1301)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".

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  (416): Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked". http://tfl.nu/jucw
  Replies (4) Good night (2245) Bad night (1085)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit

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  (207): you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit http://tfl.nu/zspy
  Replies (3) Good night (1612) Bad night (409)
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  (707): View more from California

  Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!

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  (707): Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that! http://tfl.nu/8zmt
  Replies (8) Good night (1084) Bad night (488)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding

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  (416): Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding http://tfl.nu/gcol
  Replies (0) Good night (437) Bad night (261)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch

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  (+61): She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch http://tfl.nu/x1qz
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (448)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.

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  (570): I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head. http://tfl.nu/umyc
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (386)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face

  (1-312): View more from Illinois

  he seemed brazillian..

  (312): View more from Illinois

  fuck.

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  (312): I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face (1-312): he seemed brazillian.. (312): fuck. http://tfl.nu/np08
  Replies (2) Good night (417) Bad night (541)

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