I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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