i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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