PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
