Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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