is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
