you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
