i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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