okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize