Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
