so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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