I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
