Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
