it was like his penis was on wheels.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you never un-have a 4some
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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