Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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