She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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