I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize