whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
