I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize