I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Life is so much better after having sex.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
