And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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