but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
