GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize