i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
