I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
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I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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