Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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