Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
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