she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
