Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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