I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
