...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize