She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
my being single is dangerous.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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