are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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