Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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