You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
